Well, another day has started and I have wanted to keep track of every day that I have known my daughter Jammie was given 6 months to live. I have not done what I set out to do. She was told this information on July 11.
Hospice came on Aug. 12th, 2015 and talked with Jammie. Jen the Hospice nurse said that the Dr. had reviewed all her medical records and she should have been in hospice care when she was released from Hospital in July. They also told her that they wanted to take her that day to a nursing home in Gahanna, Ohio. Jammie told them she needed time to get her things together so it was decided at that time that Critical Care Transport would come and pick her up the next day at 3 pm. The chaplain from Hospice came and said a long prayer over Jammie. Jammie really needed that prayer as she was scared as to what was about to happen to her life. Jammie was in shock that this happened so quickly.
I had asked her if I needed to be there prior to them coming and she told me NO. I really should have been there but had no clue that Hospice would come and move so quickly. The decisions Jammie had to make she wanted to make on her own with no influence from anyone. God made this happen like this, it must have been better for me not to have been there. I do not control emotions well so its best I was home.
There was a lot of paperwork for Jammie to sign. One was a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) form, God this must have been so very hard on her to sign this form. What a brave young lady Jammie is.
On her own she has stopped taking the steroids prescribed for her. This is the only drug that would have prolonged her life, It's also a drug that makes you gain lots and lots of weight and makes you so heavy that she can barely move around. Once she quit the drug she lost 20lbs in a matter of days. She seemed to be more active with all the extra weight off of her. She will have some quality life left but not much quantity of time. She preferred to have some quality time with her kids then be miserable on the steroids. Jammie is making her own decisions on how she wants her time left on earth spent.
Jammie called me to tell me what had happened with Hospice visit. Boy was I surprised that everything was moving so quickly. I thank God, my sister, Maggie and brother Bobby were there to be with her when she was given the news that she would now be in Hospice care. They have been by her side every step of this.
Together as a team we supported her in getting the care she so desperately needed. Marlon has supported all of us to get her apartment cleaned up and the things she wants to keep her children were removed and brought to our condo. These memories of Jammie's will be given to her children at a later date.
That evening before the arrival of Hospice Bobby, Maggie and Jammie came over and we enjoyed Jet's pizza on the porch. The talk was light between us as we cherished the time we were sharing together. Marlon went and brought the pizza's back and got us all beverages of our choice. I love this man who in the background does all the things to make this transition go as easy as possible for all of us.
Well, it's Aug 13th, 2015 and Marlon and I start on our way to Westerville, Ohio where Jammie lives. Today I noticed the very big dark circles around her eyes, which told me she is getting sicker. This worried me because I had never noticed that before. We arrive and Maggie, Bobby, and Jammie had packed up all that Jammie wanted to take with her to Greystone. She had her TV, and a beat up radio and pictures of her 3 children to take with her in a pile on the floor. I had loaned her a suitcase and she had it packed with some of her clothes. Looks like when it all comes down to it; we all only really have a few belongings that means so much to us. The items she took meant something to her. She loves her children, Josh, Josie, and Mason. The pictures of them are what she wanted to see every day when she wakes up. I will always be proud of her for doing the right thing for them and giving them up for adoption to a wonderful lady named Melissa Nunamaker. What a great person to take all 3 children and keep them together. The kids all call Melissa, Mom and they call Jammie. Mom. Not confusing at all because the kids love them both.
It's 3 pm and Critical Care Transport has not arrived.
I got a phone call from Dana my wonderful friend wanting to know how it was going. Well, it made me feel so important that she would call me when she is on vacation. God thank you for putting such wonderful people in my life.
At 3:15 Jammie called Hospice nurse who in turn called Critical Care. They had been lost but now were only 5 minutes away. When they did arrive my heart started racing and panic set in. Jammie hugged her roommate, Molly who is also her BFF and her other friend goodbye, tears were flowing at this time down both of their faces. All I could do was stand and stare thinking OMG this is really happening to my family. It is all starting to sink in that my daughter is terminally ill. Maggie, Bobby, Marlon and I all followed Jammie and the critical care driver out.
We are going to follow them Gahanna Nursing Home. Now I am finally breaking down. Tears are pouring down my face. I'm talking to Marlon telling him how bad I feel and how Jammie must feel.
Tears rolled down my face the entire way there.
I cried and they explained it was ok to be upset. I cried for at least 15 minutes before I got a headache and had to stop. I picked myself up and dusted myself off and told them I was going to be ok. I have not cried till today, before I just couldn't face reality. It's now very real........ Got up and told them I was ready to find Jammie and Marlon. My sister and brother left to go home. They have spent the last days with her. They told me its my time to be with my daughter and they were leaving. I went in Jammie's room where Marlon and her were sitting. Picked up the blanket I had originally made for Josie and put it on her bed. It looked very nice.
Marlon brought in all her things and I unpacked her suitcase. NO hangers in closet, Marlon said he would go and buy some for Jammie and Jammie ask for a 12 pack of Mountain Dew. You have to buy soda pop at 65 cents a can. Marlon was gone not very long and I look up and he has the goods. All the shirts and dresses are put away. Marlon decided to hook up her TV she brought and remove the tiny one that was there. Remote Control was not with her TV but the one for the nursing homes TV worked just fine on her TV. We sat around and talked about next time we come to visit and how much she wants a recliner for her room. She doesn't want to sit on her bed all the time to watch TV. I have to make this happen for her.
She told me how much it meant to her to have us both there to help with this transition. All of your family Jammie will be there for you all the way.......
Hospice came on Aug. 12th, 2015 and talked with Jammie. Jen the Hospice nurse said that the Dr. had reviewed all her medical records and she should have been in hospice care when she was released from Hospital in July. They also told her that they wanted to take her that day to a nursing home in Gahanna, Ohio. Jammie told them she needed time to get her things together so it was decided at that time that Critical Care Transport would come and pick her up the next day at 3 pm. The chaplain from Hospice came and said a long prayer over Jammie. Jammie really needed that prayer as she was scared as to what was about to happen to her life. Jammie was in shock that this happened so quickly.
I had asked her if I needed to be there prior to them coming and she told me NO. I really should have been there but had no clue that Hospice would come and move so quickly. The decisions Jammie had to make she wanted to make on her own with no influence from anyone. God made this happen like this, it must have been better for me not to have been there. I do not control emotions well so its best I was home.
There was a lot of paperwork for Jammie to sign. One was a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) form, God this must have been so very hard on her to sign this form. What a brave young lady Jammie is.
On her own she has stopped taking the steroids prescribed for her. This is the only drug that would have prolonged her life, It's also a drug that makes you gain lots and lots of weight and makes you so heavy that she can barely move around. Once she quit the drug she lost 20lbs in a matter of days. She seemed to be more active with all the extra weight off of her. She will have some quality life left but not much quantity of time. She preferred to have some quality time with her kids then be miserable on the steroids. Jammie is making her own decisions on how she wants her time left on earth spent.
Jammie called me to tell me what had happened with Hospice visit. Boy was I surprised that everything was moving so quickly. I thank God, my sister, Maggie and brother Bobby were there to be with her when she was given the news that she would now be in Hospice care. They have been by her side every step of this.
Together as a team we supported her in getting the care she so desperately needed. Marlon has supported all of us to get her apartment cleaned up and the things she wants to keep her children were removed and brought to our condo. These memories of Jammie's will be given to her children at a later date.
That evening before the arrival of Hospice Bobby, Maggie and Jammie came over and we enjoyed Jet's pizza on the porch. The talk was light between us as we cherished the time we were sharing together. Marlon went and brought the pizza's back and got us all beverages of our choice. I love this man who in the background does all the things to make this transition go as easy as possible for all of us.
Well, it's Aug 13th, 2015 and Marlon and I start on our way to Westerville, Ohio where Jammie lives. Today I noticed the very big dark circles around her eyes, which told me she is getting sicker. This worried me because I had never noticed that before. We arrive and Maggie, Bobby, and Jammie had packed up all that Jammie wanted to take with her to Greystone. She had her TV, and a beat up radio and pictures of her 3 children to take with her in a pile on the floor. I had loaned her a suitcase and she had it packed with some of her clothes. Looks like when it all comes down to it; we all only really have a few belongings that means so much to us. The items she took meant something to her. She loves her children, Josh, Josie, and Mason. The pictures of them are what she wanted to see every day when she wakes up. I will always be proud of her for doing the right thing for them and giving them up for adoption to a wonderful lady named Melissa Nunamaker. What a great person to take all 3 children and keep them together. The kids all call Melissa, Mom and they call Jammie. Mom. Not confusing at all because the kids love them both.
It's 3 pm and Critical Care Transport has not arrived.
I got a phone call from Dana my wonderful friend wanting to know how it was going. Well, it made me feel so important that she would call me when she is on vacation. God thank you for putting such wonderful people in my life.
At 3:15 Jammie called Hospice nurse who in turn called Critical Care. They had been lost but now were only 5 minutes away. When they did arrive my heart started racing and panic set in. Jammie hugged her roommate, Molly who is also her BFF and her other friend goodbye, tears were flowing at this time down both of their faces. All I could do was stand and stare thinking OMG this is really happening to my family. It is all starting to sink in that my daughter is terminally ill. Maggie, Bobby, Marlon and I all followed Jammie and the critical care driver out.
We have arrived and are parked. We all get out of our cars and go over towards where Jammie is sitting in the Critical Care Van. We had to wait for the gentleman who picked her up to confirm that he is taking her to the correct entrance. As I am walking in we are greeted immediately with smiles and welcoming us. We all are still in a senseless motion trudging along. As we trudge along down the hall I can smell urine thinking to myself I don't want to leave her here. We walked down the halls till they stopped in front of room 39B. Tears started flowing down my face again.
I had no control I could not stop the tears. I wanted to be strong for Jammie but I was not. The room looked like a hospital room not a room to be comfortable in. Tears are pouring down my face still. Several head nurses were in the room to introduce themselves to Jammie. They decided they would take Jammie to view the place and I was escorted out and into a nurses office.
Marlon we love you and thanks for being there for the both of us. ♥
Oh Donna my heart goes out to you. I'm so very sorry you are going through this with your beautiful daughter. You remain in our prayers for as much peace and comfort as God can provide. Always know that this separation is only temporary and you will all be together again one day. <3
ReplyDeleteMy prayers are with Jammie and all of you. Just know in your heart that as her mother you have done all that was humanly possible for her and her children always Donna and continue to do so now. May God bring strength and comfort to you and your loved ones.. Love Anna
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. May God bring you the strength that you need at such a difficult time. Enjoy your precious times with Jammie 💜
ReplyDeleteMy friend, what can I say. I admire you, Marlon, your whole family but most of all your beautiful daughter. I am speechless and heartbroken. How can anybody go through something like this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Please talk to Jammie and make sure her life is right. Enjoy whatever time you still have with her and treasure the nemories. Hank you for sharing this with me. Love you always xxxx Miri
ReplyDeleteI have tears streaming down my face as I read this. I went to school with Jammie. I will continue to pray for you all. xoxo xoxo Amanda Mees ( Benson)
ReplyDelete